Being a grown up

I assume at some point in every child’s life you realize when your parents can no longer make sound decisions on their own.  Or at least need some direction.  I had no idea I would have to be making one of these decisions in my late 20’s.  Mom is only 61.

You grow up being taken care of, nurtured, and loved by your parents.  They are there when you need financial advice, career directions, you name it… they are there for you.  Then, out of no where the realization comes that you must make decisions regarding the person that gave birth to you.  Before you may or may not have your own children.  Heavy stuff.

My mom is one of the most amazing women I have ever known.  She was always a light to me and everyone that has ever known her.  She has this ability to love and care for people like I have never seen.  Her smile is contagious.   After her husband passed away in 2004 from cancer she hasn’t been the same.  I thought that moving her back to Texas from Georgia three years ago would help her.  She would have my husband and I,  my brother, his wife and her grandson to keep her company.  After a year or so my mom still wasn’t acting like her old self.  I blamed a lot of it on the big move she just had, but there were signs that something wasn’t right.  She was having problems remembering things and it started to become very noticeable.  I finally convinced her that we needed to seek some medical help to see what was going on.  After spending all last summer at various doctors, neurologists and getting an MRI they found nothing.  They said it must be early dementia.  Special.

Fast forward to the last few months…. I noticed not only was my mom becoming a recluse and not leaving her house, but she was having problems balancing her checkbook and many other important tasks.  I also learned that people had stolen money and taken advantage of her!  I needed to find a way to make her happy.  I was helping her with paying her bills, but I knew that being alone was also contributing to her memory/anxiety.  She isn’t happy without social interaction and being around people.  I knew I had to do something.

Long story short… I spent many months researching Retirement Communities and getting opinions and advice from friends.  With my mom being so young it seemed like a crazy thing to do, but I had a feeling in my heart that it was right.  Monday was our lunch appointment at Independence Hill.  I was so nervous to actually take her because I knew she was hesitant, but thank God she trusted me.  She was pretty uneasy walking in and seeing that most of the population was quite a bit older than herself!  I have never seen so many walkers in one place!  We toured the community, the apartments and then had probably the most entertaining lunch I have EVER had.  Some of the residents were absolutely hilarious!  Mom was the center of attention and everyone ended up coming by to say hello because they heard all the laughing and wanted to see what all the commotion was about.  It was a special moment.  For the first time in many, many years I saw my mom really smile.  She was in her element.  Around people and making relationships.

After lunch we went back to the office to ask any more questions we might of had.  This place really is incredible!  They have a ton of activities for people to do, they feed you (great food I might add), and have hundreds of other residents that are enjoying life.  We didn’t meet one person that was unhappy!
She looked at me and said, “Let’s do it, I want to move in!”  WOW… I had no idea she would love it that much ๐Ÿ™‚  She was practically bouncing off the walls about moving in.  She gave a deposit and we have 30 days to get her in!  HOLY MOLY!  Not quite what I expected, but we are going to make it happen ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m not sure why I doubted myself on what was best for my mom, but I guess I was just scared.  I never thought I would have to be making these kind of decisions for my mom before I had my own children, but I know God doesn’t give us more than we can  handle.  I could not be happier about her new adventure, this “cruise ship on land” they call it.  And I KNOW I will have tons of fun stories about mom and her new friends when I visit ๐Ÿ™‚  I also know that Independence Hill couldn’t be luckier to have my mom.  She is going to be an amazing asset to the place and will have more friends than she knows what to do with in no time!

Praise God!

Baby Renegade

Renegade (noun)
: an individual who rejects lawful or conventional behavior

I have been on a bit of a blog hiatus and feel there is so much I still have to write about!  I just had my 30th Birthday, we just went on a fabulous vacation, our business is exploding with growth…..  Yet, I feel that I need to document a new step in our TTC (trying to conceive) journey tonight.

As many of you may or may not know we have been trying to start our family for around 2 1/2 years now.  It has had many ups and downs and has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to experience.  After our miscarriage in March I have had a variety of feelings about our journey.  Many of them being sadness and depression.  We have had almost three years of waiting (like everybody says to do) because “It will happen when its your time”, “When you stop trying”, etc etc etc.  Frankly, I’m sick of waiting!  And honestly sick of other people trying to tell me how to feel.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I try my hardest to live my life everyday with God’s will for me, but I think there becomes a breaking point.  Friday was that day for me.  Waking up to my second cycle since losing the baby was my breaking point.  Minutes later I decided that I needed to get on Clomid (a fertility aid), as soon as possible.  I called my doctor that morning on the way home from my morning jog to make an appointment.

Luckily, I was able to get in this morning.  My adorable OBGYN walked in the office and asked how I was doing.  I told him that we were actually doing really great!  I then told him that I wanted to get on Clomid…!  He looked pretty hesitant for a minute and wanted me to remind him again of our infertility journey.  A little over a year ago we did visit a fertility clinic for the first time and started the first round of tests on both of us and they found nothing wrong.  He told me that getting on Clomid before I did all of the tests was like putting the cart before the horse, but if I felt it was what I wanted to do he would prescribe it to me.  He then called me a renegade!  I had to really laugh at this.

When I really think about it, I am a “renegade” in many areas of my life.  The one that stands out is what I do for a living.  I own a Network Marketing business which is VERY unconventional for most people, but I have made it work and have been self employed for almost three years now!  I am so Blessed to be able to train and mentor people to make massive changes in their lives.  Now why would I not do whatever I can to get to my goal of being a mother?

Time will tell if this step in our life will bring us the joy of finally becoming parents.  I do know that I am very excited!  It is something to keep me motivated and optimistic along this journey that has more downs than ups.  There is no guarantee of course, but I have a good feeling about this new renegade move ๐Ÿ˜‰