The beginning of our “Paper” Pregnancy

A few weeks ago we attended an adoption seminar that ended up fueling our desire to adopt a child into over drive. I remember one of the incredible mothers that spoke who called her adoption process a “paper pregnancy.”  Wow. I had never thought of it that way.
Granted, it may be a bit longer than 9 months until we hold his precious body in our arms for the first time, I won’t have all those pesky pregnancy symptoms and I can still have a glass of wine…  but just like any other new parents to be, we are now officially preparing for our son to come home. <3

Yesterday afternoon we got the official call that we have been accepted into the adoption agency! How exciting!  It really did have the same energy as finding out your pregnant!  Praise God!  A million things have been making my mind spin.  Names, nursery ideas, you name it…my noggin hasn’t slowed a bit  🙂
With this pregnancy we will also have a total shake down! It is strange to think that once we get our paperwork done and sent off that our whole lives will be recorded in a 20 page document that will be sent to Africa.   Weird. Yet, so wonderful at the same time.  Our trips to Africa will be an adventure for my husband and I, with the second trip bringing home our son 🙂
This adoption process is still very foreign to us, but I am determined to move as quickly as they will let me.   When we got the official email yesterday it took me an hour to sign, scan, email back 5 documents and send our first online payment.  Think I’m excited?

 I have already started to ask God to help me with patience because I am prepared (at least I think I am) for the waiting to be the hardest part.  Waiting for the paperwork to clear, waiting on the African Embassy to approve us… waiting to finally bring our son home. 
Of course finding the finances will also be interesting, but we know that the Lord will provide.  God funds what he favors 🙂  I have already started tossing around a few fundraising ideas these past few days. We have had such an amazing out pour of love and support for this adoption and many people have said they want to be part of bringing our little angel home!   Isn’t that amazing?!!  Thinking of a raffle, garage sale, t shirts…
Anyone have any great ideas??

This three year journey of becoming parents has taught me about faith and my relationship with Christ.  No matter how angry I have become at Him at what we have had to endure to make this dream of being parents a reality, He always seems to draw me closer.  I am learning that true faith in God comes in the hard times, the times where you want nothing more than to rebel and try it all on your own. 
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

We are so excited for this new journey and hope you will follow along as we experience the joy of adoption.  And maybe even inspire you or someone you know to do the same 🙂
Have a wonderful weekend friends,

God’s Plan

Last Thursday morning I felt in complete control of my life. I finally had an Alzheimer’s diagnosis for my mom and our next in vitro cycle was scheduled for next week. It’s amazing how The Lord has a way of changing things. 🙂

By Thursday afternoon I sadly realized that my mom had over dosed on her new meds and had taken all 6 doses (of two different new medications) in one day. Holy jeeze… Wasn’t expecting that one. Thankfully she will be ok, but I am now at the point of having to bring in a nurse each night, a machine to help with dosing or I go over every evening to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I am still not done with care for my mom just because we have a diagnosis. There is still lots of work to be done….(gotta love those learning moments)
Also, by Thursday night we were both in agreement of not starting our 2nd in vitro cycle next week!! Or going further with any more infertility treatments.  Sounds crazy I know, but God has put a new journey in our hearts.

Drumroll please…..


I can’t explain the joy that both of us feel to make this decision! We went to an incredible adoption seminar Thursday night with America World Adoption (, an international Christian adoption agency. We hadn’t even made it out of the building afterwards before we each knew that this was God’s plan for us :). It’s amazing how the part of my heart that was broken, yearning for our own biological child has already been filled with love as we are already praying for our new baby (who hasnt been born yet.)
This past weekend we have been letting our family and close friends know the great news and everyone is excited! Granted we have been asked hundreds of questions with the biggest one being…why Africa? I promise….I am committed to keeping every part of this exciting adventure of becoming parents via a “paper pregnancy” every step of the way on my blog :).  Hopefully my posts will convey why we feel so strongly about our decision to adopt Internationally.
Even with the mounds of paperwork, the long waiting (we are guessing it will take a year and a half until we actually bring him home) and the MASSIVE cost…we are elated! We also know that even though we will be making a better life for one of God’s beautiful children, he will be enriching our life in more ways than we can even imagine :). The thought of our two trips to Africa is also overwhelmingly exciting! The first trip we get to meet him and the second we will be bringing him home :).

As always, I thank all my readers for their thoughts, prayers and love! May you all have a wonderful week ahead!


At dinner Thursday night after we had officially made the decision to start the  adoption 🙂

My disappearing mom

This past Tuesday in yet another doctors visit with my mom, I came to the conclusion..,.my mom is officially turning into a woman that I have never known. My strong, active, independent, very social, compassionate mother is slowly disappearing.

Two years ago I started to notice changes in my mom. She started to forget things she never would before, she wasn’t socializing with anyone and numbers were starting to really confuse her. I became worried and knew I needed to take action. After MANY visits to her primary doctor and her telling me that there wasn’t anything wrong with my mom month after month (I still have anger towards this woman because I’m pretty dang sure I know if my mom is having problems.). I took action and got referred to a neurologist who could maybe give us more answers. We had MANY visits and tests done ranging from a 4 hour memory/psychological test to an MRI. She was terrified during of all these and looked to her 28 year old daughter for strength. At that time I know I couldn’t give it to her because I really wanted to believe she was ok, so I could selfishly go on living my own life with my husband. Since her father died of Alzheimer’s she would cry to me with grief that she didn’t want the same fate. After everything was said and done they told me she was just fine? Seriously people? Sadly, I accepted the diagnosis, but still fought to keep her on one of her memory medications. I moved her into a retirement community, rented out her house and started paying her bills but didn’t go any further with getting any answers.

Fast forward a year…..there have been many indicators in that time that put up a massive red flag; losing her keys at the gas station, not being able to pay her bills or handle money, over dosing on her meds, not knowing what day it is and my new favorite of her calling me 10x/day (no exaggerating).
It was so easy to be selfish and put off making new dr appointments for my mom. I just want her to be the woman who I have always known who comforts me as we walk through this infertility journey and my adult life. Sadly, she has no idea what is going on. One day last month she actually called me and asked how the baby was. It felt like a sharp dagger through my stomach. What baby?

Tuesday we both got the news we already knew but it was still hard to take. My mom officially has Alzheimers disease. After mass quantitys of paper/verbal tests the new dr came to this conclusion. They actually say you can’t “officially” diagnose until death but he said the tests proved she was well on her way to Stage 2. She looked at me and started crying, my heart broke for her…for us. I can confidently say my mom will never be the same.
The hardest part of it all is being unsure that if what I’m doing for her is the right thing. I can officially say that being a caretaker is the hardest job I have ever had. We shall see if that stays true once I become a mom!

RESET for 2012

I am usually not one for New Years Resoultions, but I am commiting to start off this year with a few less lbs. After two months of fertility meds, eating our way through New Orleans and mass quantities of Holiday goodness…the time is now!

Ever since I tried the RESET program over 5 years ago I have been a HUGE advocate. I do the 5 day program 3-4 times each year and absolutely love it. Don’t get me wrong it’s great and VERY effective, but it is not easy to over come your food cravings! The system has you drink 3 delicious shakes a day (the chocolate rules), eat 2 snack bars, and a cup of fruit and veggies for snacks. With 30 minutes of walking a day and drinking plenty of water you will watch the pounds melt away!  5 pounds in 5 days is guaranteed if you successfully complete it. :).  My average is 6# each time.  There is also a program to continue the weight loss (transform) in which you do 2 shakes/day. My father in law lost 30# in the month after his initial RESET program.
Let me be clear though…this is NOT a diet!! It is a lifestyle change to help you make better food choices. My favorite part about RESET actually isn’t the weight loss, it is the loss of cravings!! After you finish the 5 days you miraculously want to make better food choices and that ice cream in the freezer ( my major weakness) no longer sounds like a good idea! It seems strange unless you have tried it, but its incredible!! Our company has a 100% money back guarantee and all of our products are pharmaceutical grade so you can trust what you are putting in your body. Our company’s tag line is “Nutritionals you can trust.”. That is a very bold statement for a 20 year old publicly traded company!

I am halfway through my first day of RESET and look forward to some great results this week!! Who wants to join me?? Below is a link of a short video for more details and contact me if your interested!


Out with the old….

It only seems fitting that these past few days I have been reflecting on 2011.
I am thankful that the promise of this new year makes the hope and anticipation of the future almost unbearable for me 🙂  I am excited for what 2012 will bring!

I have been a bit “blog silent” through the Holidays because honestly, I needed time to really work through the loss that we encountered with the failing in vitro cycle.  I have read of some clinics around the country that actually offer counseling sessions before, during and after a cycle because it is such an intense process.  Physically, spiritually and mentally…  it is a tough cookie.
It takes my breath away to know that God had a hand on our family scheduling a vacation this past September for New Orleans during Christmastime.  The vacation ended up starting three days after we got the sad news.  The crazy part about IVF is that you have no say exactly on the dates to start.  It took us over two months after the day we decided to take on this adventure to get the end results of a failed pregnancy.
There really is something about the charm about the city of New Orleans; plenty of tasty Cajun food, adult beverages, mechanical bulls (oh I sure did!) and the addition of my family that made some of the shock and sadness start to fade.
The city of the fleur de lis holds a special place in Chris & I’s our hearts because that was the spot of Chris and I’s first vacation together a few months after we started dating.  It was the first Mardi Gras after Hurricane Katrina and boy was it crazy!!  I’m pretty sure that the two of us knew we were meant to spend our life together after that trip.  <3  Oh the stories we have….  🙂

Here is us in 2006 and then in 2011 at Pat O’s.

It is amazing how fast 5 years can fly by!  
I am Blessed that my love for my incredible husband continues to grow with each year that we have together <3
This past year may not have brought us a child as we had hoped, but in review it was a great year in every other aspect.  Our business is continuing to grow to heights we never imagined with some incredible leaders that have some big dreams and goals, we moved into our first house that we hope to buy soon, my husband decided to get a job to help with insurance costs, and we took the proactive steps in becoming parents.  There really is no other place to go than up in this New Year  🙂
With all of the craziness of The Holidays over and waking up to a brand new year this morning at my sister’s house, I am confident that 2012 WILL be the best one yet!  The more time I spend with my little sister and my niece, I fall more in love with the idea of becoming a mother.  It fuels me to keep fighting this fight of finally being “mom” and “dad.”  I have to share this picture (one of the many) adorable pictures with my husband and my niece in New Orleans.  He is honestly going to be the most amazing dad that I have ever known and it melts my heart.  Jaidyn adores her uncle <3
Our follow up appointment with our RE about our failed IVF cycle is Tuesday morning.  After a lot of praying and time spent talking (we drove to New Orleans for peets sake!) about what happened we have decided to go ahead and do a frozen cycle (FET) with our one remaining embryo.  This will be a less intensive process as a “fresh” IVF cycle, but will still take some work with time at the dr and meds.  I will post updates as soon as we get some actual information on what may have happened with the failed cycle and what steps we need to  take to move forward.   
Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, love, and support during this journey 🙂  I know the prayers have continued to help soften the blows we have experienced along the way.  The great news is we have already told our families that we WILL have a child by next Christmas, even if it means we have to start the adoption process 🙂
Here’s to a glorious New Year for us all!