James and my journey

Sunday our pastor had a sermon that I know spoke directly to my heart. I adore when that happens because I know it is God making sure I’m listening to Him. The question is… What will I do about it?

The sermon was about stealing joy and about hardships we face. Coach Val uses “truths” to help convey his message each week.
Truth #1 Every trial has a purpose. In catastrophe the audience of victims cry..why God why? The army of God asks…what are my marching orders?
He then referred to –

James 1:2 “When troubles come it is an opportunity for great joy.”. (NLT).
I can’t even count how many times through this journey of becoming parents that I have asked God, why me? There lies my problem. I am now trying to learn to thank God for this “trial” I am going through. No matter how much it hurts…mentally, physically, financially, it is going to make me the best mother I can be.

Truth #2 Without hardships, character transformations are impossible.
Isn’t that the truth! I definitely know I have transformed through out this process over the past 3 years. I have always known that I am beloved by Him, but it has become almost a smack in the face these past few weeks. The more I have taken myself out of the equation and rely solely on His grace, I am at peace.

James 1:3-4 (NLT)
“For you know when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. Let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing.”

I never even dreamed that I would be able to get through the miscarriage. The sweet surprise that we found out about on Valentine’s Day. I did. Then the realization that IVF was going to be our vehicle was also hard to stomach. Not rely on God to give me a miracle and have science engineer our child? Unheard of. After amazing advice from some of my most cherished spiritual mentors, I felt at peace with IVF. Then, having to endure the stress of the surgery last week to remove what was left of my miscarriage from my uterus. For real? What’s next? The more I endure, the stronger I have become and the easier it has become to Glorify God.

James 4:10 (TNIV) “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
Even though I have had some discouraging thoughts about our IVF cycle and have had friends even bring up the option of it not being successful, I will not waiver. I have no doubt that we will have at least 1 (if not two) healthy babies growing inside of me soon. This season of hardship is soon coming to a close….I can feel it.

Romans 8:28 (TNIV) “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”