Marriage is hard

marriage-is-hard

On a daily basis I a reminded of how hard marriage really is.  Sharing your life with someone is just plain work.

When I was married over 7 years ago I went into it with realistic expectations.  As a child of not one, but two divorces I knew the journey ahead would not be easy.  Since I knew what divorce was and what it did to children caught in the crossfire, I was going to work my butt off to make my marriage work.  There would be NO easy way out.  Divorce would never be an option.  Ever.

Fast forward 7 years and two children and I now understand.  I totally get how people can throw up their hands and move on to something “better.”  Or just give up and divorce.  This stuff is hard!  And you have to work on the relationship DAILY!
One major thing I have learned is communication is key.  That and surprises!

Surprises- Now I don’t mean presents per say.. (but I do love presents)   🙂
Just something different from the day to day monotony of life.  Sweet notes written with markers on the bathroom mirror, other special notes hidden through out the house for your spouse to find, flowers.. get creative.  Money is NOT the primary here, it is the thought.

Communication- Communication sucks.  No lie, I was a communication major in college.  I can talk to people.  I love people!  Yet, sometimes telling my husband that I feel neglected in some way or that feel like I need him to help me out more in an area around the house is super hard for me.  Honestly it is just easier for me to keep my mouth shut!  But is “easier” really going to help this relationship long term?  No.

Since we have hit the “7 year itch” mark I have found that we have been going through some major growth in our marriage.  We have now been together almost 10 years and we know each other.. well.  Yet, as life moves on day to day our “normal” if there was ever one, has changed.  And with that becomes some serious work in the two of us.  Thankfully, we are not alone and we have the Lord to help guide us and give us direction and support in our marriage.

“But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and two will become one flesh.  So they are no longer two, but one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”  (Mark 10: 6-9)

Powerful.  Marriage has been around forever and God smiles upon the sacred vow.  Praying and calling out to Him for help or get connected to people of faith to give spiritual advice is key.  I don’ t know about you, but I just love the part about “becoming one flesh.”  I put this verse on our program at our wedding and it still gets me warm and fuzzy on the inside all of these years later.  It is romantic to me… living out the rest of your life with one person who knows you like no one else.

I have not one doubt in my mind that on that fateful Christmas night that Chris and I were supposed to cross paths.  I know we were put together to make a difference in not only our children’s lives, but those around us.  We want to share our love of God and our passion for quality health for all that will listen.  No matter how hard the day to day may seem of sharing my life with my husband, I will do my best everyday to work at us.  Because we started with “us” and until my last living breath.. it will end with us.

We have decided that every Sunday night we will have some time for us and our week.  Talk about the week ahead, our finances, pray, and hopefully finally start a bible study that we have been talking about for a while now.
I challenge you to do the same!  Let’s make 2015 the year that marriages are strengthened, restored and rejuvenated!

Blessings,
Tk

Our third year of marriage

On this past Wednesday, December 1st 2010, Chris and I celebrated our third wedding Anniversary.  It’s amazing that time has honestly flown so fast.  It seems like yesterday that I was planning our beautiful Christmas wedding on the Riverwalk.  We knew this adventure of marriage wasn’t going to be an easy one, but the first two years were a BLAST!  
This last year of marriage was quite a different story.  It seemed that obstacles and tragedy was following us.  I had BOTH of my grandparents pass away this past year (4 months apart) and my sweet uncle Eddie.  My grandmother and uncle died 5 days apart.  I honestly didn’t think I would ever make it out of the depression “hole” that I had dug myself into.  Chris was amazing as always and stuck by my side.  
We are also now on year three of starting our family.  NEVER did I think that having a baby would take this long.  Just about everyone around me has babies or is pregnant, it is taking faith and love to get me through.  I know that God has a plan for us, yet some days it is gut-wrenching to think that I will be 30 this year and am still not a mother.  
This year had it’s good points though.  My beautiful niece, Jaidyn was born, I finally lost the weight that I gained after my first year of marriage, I found my love for Bikram yoga, and we gained a new addition to our family (our boxer puppy, Blaise.)
No matter what seems to be thrown our way, I know that Chris and I will walk side by side as husband and wife and keep smiles on our face until the day we leave this earth.  Marriage truly is an adventure not to be taken lightly and there is nothing better than having your best friend by your side everyday as life unfolds before you.  <3