PSA on pregnant women

Today I have decided to come out of my blogging shell to share a little tid-bit that is really starting to drive me bananas.  Hard to believe it has been almost a year since I have posted.  I had all intentions of blogging more once my daughter was born in hopes of recording this new found life called motherhood.  Didn’t happen.
Part of me was having a hard time putting my life out there in public and part being confused on where my blog was now headed.  Since it initially started as a way to talk about my love of Bikram Yoga, then a “Trying to Conceive” journey as we fought to have children for over 4 years and finally a little of my life as a young 30 something dealing with a mom with early onset Alzheimer’s Disease.  I am at a loss of where the blog should be headed, but figure a few posts here and there may help me with some direction.
I have now been extremely Blessed with a beautiful daughter and another on the way.  Soon enough I will have two girls under 2.  Lord help me!  My mother is still in a “memory care” facility and is happy, but definitely not getting any better.

Now lets get into the reason while I felt I needed to get my thoughts written down.  Pregnancy.

When a woman is pregnant I believe she should feel absolutely beautiful.  She is growing a tiny human for petes sake!  Yet, in my years of experiencing pregnancy I am noticing a lot of VERY tacky people.  Now first let me tell some of you who may not have ever seen me in person a little about me.  I am a stunning 5’1″ tall on a good day.  I am not only vertically challenged, but have a short torso and have always been endowed.  Oh the days I would dream about how I would look in a bikini with a long torso….

I digress…

With my first pregnancy I remember around Christmas time (about 7 months or so pregnant), I came home crying to my husband one day because twice while I was out shopping that day I was asked if I was due soon.  Of course when I told people I was not….some amazing comments have followed.  “Is your due date correct?”, “Wow, your really big!” and my personal favorite.. “Are you sure it isn’t twins?”
This pregnancy is no different, but this time around I have much thicker skin.
Today got me all fired up because I went to go visit my mom and the lady at the front desk really annoyed me!!  Luckily, my parents taught me to respect my elders so this sweet older lady will get no slack from me, but who says I can not write about it!  🙂
Going into mom’s facility you have to enter a code (memory care is a lock down facility with multiple codes needed in different wings.)  When she saw me through the glass doors she pressed her super special button so I didn’t have to press the code.  Then proceeded to tell me, “When I see you I just feel so bad for you because your just so big, I just want to help you out!”  Really lady….

A few weeks ago while we were out at the Parade of Homes if I was, “Walking my baby out.”   Hmmmm…. at 23 weeks I sure hope my daughter was not ready to be born!
Almost daily I get comments on the size of my baby bump and how big I am.  I try not to let it bother me, but some days I really want to tell people exactly how they are making me feel.  I’m pretty sure I don’t go up to random strangers and comment on their weight or personal appearance, so why people think it is OK to say things that honestly are none of their business BLOWS MY MIND!!
And let me also say that I am in the gym at least three days a week and my midwives say I measure right on track as I did with my first pregnancy.

Today at 28 weeks with my current daughter:

At 28 weeks with my first daughter:

Now as I end my rant today I know that the resolution is very easy… just don’t say anything to a pregnant woman!  And if you do, only say how beautiful she looks.
PLEASE & THANK YOU!!
Love-
All women pregnant women past, present & future

Blessings,
Tk

Waiting.. and waiting…

When you first find out that you are pregnant you have that first spectacular ultrasound where you see that little “bean” on the screen and they measure it.  From that and your last period date they give you that magical number… your due date!  You go 9 months with that date constantly rolling around in your head.  When your body starts showing that cute little bump it seems that you are saying it almost daily to strangers that ask.  This magical date will be the day that your life changes forever…  Now what happens when this date comes, then goes and no baby?

Today officially marks our 41st week of pregnancy.  Goodness gracious.  We have been ready for this little girl since week 38 and it seems like we have been waiting for eternity.  I have nested all I can nest, I have cleaned and organized just about everything and frankly I am just bored!  I am not one to sit down and watch tv all day and one of the last things I want to do is get dressed and waddle my large self around in public.  Not to mention my maternity wardrobe is pretty slim because this belly is so big!

The amount of calls ,texts and Facebook messages on a daily basis are getting a bit overwhelming.  I know that everyone means well and wants to see her, but it is about to drive me to drink.  And I can’t drink, so it must stop!  With everything being so stream lined and viral these days, everyone will know when she decides to make her grand entrance.  I promise 🙂

Some days I get upset when I think about the one person who I always expected would be knocking down my door regarding updates on how I am feeling and how close we are to having her, is my mom.  She hasn’t called me in weeks.  I call her, but it just isn’t the same.  I try so hard not to feel sorry for myself, but I just want my mom.  I want her to hold me and tell me that everything is going be ok, let me know how strong I am, and how I am going to do great at bringing this angel into the world.  I know this will never happen and mourn for my mom often.  I absolutely hate Alzheimer’s and pray someday a cure is found.

The other part about being “late” is that other people freak out more than you do about her not being here.  I used “late ” because my midwife says that a baby is not late until AFTER 42 weeks.  I believe this mentality that babies should be born at 38-40 weeks is part of our “microwave society” way of thinking.  Everyone has a time table and it is usually sooner rather than later or I need it now!  That is why inductions are so common for women that have babies who are 40-42 weeks.
I can’t even count how many times people have said over the last week that I will have to have a c-section because she may be too big or that I should get induced and just get it over with!  Grrr!  The sad part is that it is starting to weigh on me.  I am starting to worry that my dream of having my natural birth at a birth center may not be a reality.  I even tossed around if I would be ok with being induced yesterday!  I refuse to give up, not yet.  I will stay strong and use whatever patience I have left to see how this little angel’s birth story plays out.  My midwife has said that 41 weeks, 3 days is her guess.
That is Friday… time will tell.  🙂

Blessings,
Tk

Our Birth Plan: The natural decision

Well, here we are…. just days away from giving birth to our first child that we had prayed so very hard for.  After almost 5 years we will finally enter the “parenthood club.”  It is amazing that it is already almost over!  We are ready for her and the waiting game has officially started.

With the impending arrival of our angel baby more people have been asking about what hospital, delivery, when we will be induced etc.  I wanted to do a short post on what our plan was (I could probably write a book at this point with the information I have collected over the years), but I will save you with the cliff notes version.
In a nutshell we are using a birth center instead of a hospital.  We have been seeing a midwife (who I adore) since week 9 and no, there will be no pain medication!  We will be less than 5 miles from a hospital, so if something were to happen we are not far.  Don’t worry…I am not a hippie (even though some of you who knew me in college may think differently.)  🙂
I believe that every woman should have some education on childbirth and she is allowed the decision on how to bring her children into this world.
If your interested in more details, read below!

Ever since I can remember I have wanted to have a natural child birth.  I never quite knew what that entailed, but I knew I wanted to experience having a baby as God intended.. pain and all.  The way I saw it was that our ancestors had done without epidurals, pain medication, C-sections etc.  Why couldn’t I do it if they did?  Now don’t get me wrong.. I am VERY grateful for modern medicine and there are instances where intervention is needed, but most babies can be born without any.

When we first started trying to have a baby four years ago I started researching natural child birth.  The statistics I found were startling.  Did you know in 1900 around 95% of all births were in the home?  The story goes that in the early 1900 that physicians began a smear campaign in order to discredit midwifes/home births and make them seem out of date.  The gleaming, clean, hospitals began to be portrayed as the newer, safer method for childbirth.
There is also the ever present epidural argument.  I have heard from so many woman that they would rather get an epidural so they could no longer feel the pain of childbirth.  It does kill the pain, but also kills natural contractions.  So.. then comes pitocin!  Pitocin makes contractions longer, stronger and closer together, which cause more pain and usually another epidural.  This is a very stressful situation for mom and baby.  And usually after a short amount of time a cesarean is often ordered.  I don’t even want to get started to C-sections, but realize that in 1965 there was a 4.5% cesarean rate and in 2010 it was at 33%!  That is 1 in 3 women having a c section!  And the most recent trend is scheduling C sections because woman think it is easier!  What really made me angry a few years ago was when my 23 year old sister’s doctor let her SCHEDULE a c-section!  Seriously??!!  Doctors (or hospitals) don’t seem to have the time to wait around for a woman to labor naturally, so alternate measures are usually used (epidurals,pitocin, c-sections.)    My opinion is hospitals, insurance & drug companies are in bed together.  It’s all about making money.  Did you know it is almost impossible to get insurance companies to cover birth centers?  I find this insane because it is so much cheaper for a low risk woman to give birth at home or in a birth center!  It makes no sense!
Everyone who I have talked to that has had a natural (no drugs) birthing experience has nothing but amazing things to say about how it went, the initial bonding with the baby was incredible and quicker recoveries.  Realize labor “work” is a natural process of having a child and drugs decrease performance and no amount of mimicking contractions or covering pain will help your body do what God intended it to and in turn is a greater chance medial intervention will be necessary.

After all of the research and watching many documentaries on the subject, we decided on a birthing center.  I HIGHLY recommend watching “The Business of Being Born.” (Its on Netflix)  It is a little over an hour and it will give you an idea of your choices.  And that my friends is wealth… the knowledge to make a decision regarding your body and baby.
At first my husband was a little apprehensive because just about everyone imagines their baby being born at a hospital, but he is completely on board now and I think excited to see how it all will happen as well!

We decided to take Bradley Method classes (Husband coached childbirth) to get us prepared for labor.  It was a wonderful experience.  Not only to be more educated on the birthing/labor process, but also to being with other couples who have the same thoughts on child birth and due dates around the same time.  Even though it was a 12 week class for 2 hours a week, we really looked forward to it every week!  I highly recommend looking into Bradley classes if you want to have a natural birth either at home, a birth center, or even a hospital.

So… this post ended up longer than I thought, but I wanted to write down my thoughts and opinions on our decision because I felt that I was having to explain myself so often.  As I said, each woman is entitled to choose how they want to give birth and has options.  I pray she researches them beforehand instead of doing as the masses do and not knowing why.

Be Blessed,
TK